Ten Questions for Josef+Isabella

I: Brooklyn Boulders Queensbridge. Rock climber bootcamp class with Joy Chen. December 2016? January 2017? First impressions: I like this guy's yellow hat. How is he able to do these 'hollow body rock' core exercises? He is the only one here laughing at my jokes. I want to know him.

J: I met Isabella at the Brooklyn Boulders climbing gym in Long Island City. I think it was a winter month, maybe December (I always ask Isabella what year...)? We had both signed up for a fitness class led by this acro-yoga/fitness instructor named Joy. My first impression was “Oh hey, look at that blue-eyed girl. I want to hang out with her.”

I: Gin and tonics and some small plates at El Born in Greenpoint! We discovered we both really like anchovies! And each other!

J: We probably weren't officially dating yet, but we had dinner at this Italian restaurant in Manhattan as 'friends'. No idea what it was called or even what neighborhood we were in, but I do remember that we were at this long communal table, which was annoying, but I was just happy to be on a date with Isabella. Felt nice.

I: Ok this might not be the MOST memorable, but it is the first that came to mind. Josef joined my family's summer vacation in Cape Cod and fit right in - he played a VR headset game with my brother, niece and dad, cracked jokes with my nephews, made cocktails with my mom, and taught us lots of fun facts about nature during long walks.

J: Recency bias alert, but for me it's our recent trip to Italy (summer 2022). Isabella studied abroad in Bologna, her dad is Italian, and her family has traveled to Italy a shit ton. Meanwhile, I took two uninspired years of Italian in high school (all I can say is "io voglio andare alla classa") and had never spent a minute in mainland Europe before this trip. Between the food, the history, the coast, the company, the food, and the food (did I mention that?) it was truly one of the most incredible trips we’ve been on together. Looking forward to the next one.

I: Three options: either put Task Master on (one of his favorite comedy shows. Note: not mine) and walk out of the room, suggest we go birding, or put a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in front of him. Even better if they also have peanut butter in them.

J: A nice hug. A cup of tea. Making time and space for her to take a nap. A long walk (for her, or for me, depending on the circumstances). But mostly just being open and available to hear her concerns and challenges as she processes her emotions, and being there for her without judgement.

I: Ooh, tough one. Depends on the season! But Josef does make a whole roast chicken that is simple and glorious. It also makes our entire apartment smoky for several hours, but it's worth it.

J: First thing that comes to mind is Isabella’s risottos. I'd never really had risotto until she introduced me to it - turns out it's delicious. Isabella also introduced me to this thing we call 'tuna pasta' (we now have many variations of it, and I am fully capable of cooking it myself) but there is something simple, and now nostalgic and uniquely Isabella, about it. I crave it on a weekly basis. Also, quick shout out to Isabella's bouillabaisse, which is rumored to be fantastic, but I have never actually had it. Tick tock, Isabella, tick tock...

I: Poppy loves Josef's consistency, patience, and desire to teach her the most random, involved tricks. She loves my willingness to run wherever she wants to go at top speed. And my nightly routine of kissing her head and telling her she's the best dog in the whole world.

J: Poppy loves Isabella’s treat generosity, her unwavering protection from the loud sounds of NYC, and her never-to-be-missed whisper at the end of every night "You’re the best dog, Poppy, and I love you.” Poppy loves my even more prolific treat generosity, my commitment to teaching her fun tricks, and when I let her take over Isabella’s side of the bed when she’s away.

I: My gut said Josef would be a barn owl. Then I researched barn owls. According to the Internet, they work carefully and methodically, and prefer clear structure and routine. They are extremely patient and are natural planners. They are nonviolent, altruistic, family-oriented animals. They are also extremely cute. That might as well be Josef's LinkedIn bio.

J: Surprisingly tough question. So many good birds to choose from! Is it the Eastern bluebird? The New York State bird that’s beautiful and sometimes elusive but brings so much joy when spotted? Is it a peregrine falcon, the fastest bird around? Or is it a bird that brings Isabella the most joy when she sees it on a regular basis – the cardinal. The striking but overlooked northern cardinal, always popping out at the right moment, in the perfect beam of sunlight as it passes through the canopy. Every time we see one, Isabella is reminded of her grandma, Roo. The cardinal is talkative, striking, and familiar. The more time you spend with it, the more pleasure it brings you. A perfect bird.

I: I process things externally and at a rapid fire pace, and Josef takes his time to think things through before he shares. He challenges me to really mean what I say, and I think I challenge him to communicate even if he's not 100% certain he has all the right words.

J: Isabella loves to recap her day when we're lying in bed at night. My preference is that when my head hits the pillow, we go right to sleep. When I wake up in the morning, I love to think and talk about the day ahead of us, while Isabella’s preference is to take her time waking up (in silence). Why am I thankful for this difference? I think because despite our different preferences and routines, we still find a way to connect - sometimes it’s at night despite my protest, sometimes in the morning despite hers. Compromise, am I right?

I: He no longer has the aforementioned yellow hat, so now I'd have to say this forest green flannel-esque shirt that he has. He'll know the one I mean. Or his NYC Parks sweatshirt.

J: No human in the history of the Earth has ever worn a striped item better than Isabella. Striped shirts (both short and long sleeved), striped sweaters, and striped sweatshirts of all shapes, sizes and colors. She crushes them all. But honestly, I think I like her homemade tie-dyed t-shirt best, because then I can wear my homemade tie-dyed t-shirt to match, so people know we're a team. A tie-dyed team of awesomeness.

I: Oh man! Just one? Probably most broadly speaking, Josef has helped me be a more intentional, present person in every way. I can't wait to marry him.

J: Isabella has taught me that being reflective in your own head is good, but sharing those thoughts, feelings, and emotions with another person can be even better. She has taught me that there is safety, comfort, and love in partnership, in friendships and in community. She has taught me to love and accept myself in order to fully love and accept her. I love her, she’s the fucking best. I can’t wait to marry her.